Saturday, December 31, 2005

Tom Lehman, the Supreme Court needs your help

Is this funny?

"The relationship between the states and the federal government has changed a little since Gibbons v. Ogden," said Chief Justice John Roberts.

Well yeah, it is. But Tom, you can be funnier than that. I just know it.

Friday, December 30, 2005

A very clever young man...

...named Alex Tew thought of this. Read more here if you want to.

Also, this is a good article about the glorification of the 2005 USC Trojans.

This is pretty good

A rare positive thing from SNL these days, especially the line: "You can call us Aaron Burr for the way we're dropping Hamilton(s?)."

Stop Frontin' Curtis

My favorite part of this entry from Wikipedia is that they give "shiestiness" a link. But that entry has not been created yet, so there is still time for one of you to leave your mark.

The Original 50 Cent

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson originally got his name from a famous stick-up artist of the 80's. The Original 50 Cent was named Kelvin Martin. He was considered small for a notorious thug; he only measured 5 foot 3. Martin worked with the notorious supreme team, and he was aligned with Eric B. and Rakim. He stuck up and killed many people including former friends of his and a few high ranked drug lords. Additionally, he stuck up a rap group known as Whodini. His shiestiness and love of money eventually ended up in his murder. The family of Kelvin Martin is still alive, and does not endorse Curtis Jackson.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

A few links

First, this cool site that sells one item every day at a discounted rate. It is called Woot. It is an interesting idea and you can read more about it here.

And this guy obviously just wishes he had a blog as good as any in the Yale blogosophere (I think that this is Munz's attack on us...).

And finally, this is just hilarious.

David and Larry

The feud between David Cross and Larry the Cable Guy is heating up. Here is David's original letter to Larry.

Bob is also funny.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My Greatest Regret from my Trip to Japan

I still can't believe I didn't pull the trigger on this one. I had a chance to buy the REAL Super Mario Bros. 2 for Game Boy Advance for just $20 and I didn't because I thought that it might not work on my American system. If anyone can still get this for me somehow, I would be eternally grateful (I am going to try searching myself as well). As most of you know, the American version of Super Mario Bros. 2 was extremely different from any other game in the series. This was because it was rushed into production for America and was essentially a slightly altered copy of a game called Doki Doki Panic. Yes, I am a Nintendo nerd, which is why I am so fascinated by:

"Unfortunately, the ZIF connector was not truly zero insertion force. When a user inserted the cartridge into the NES, the force of pressing the cartridge down and into place bent the contact pins slightly, as well as pressing the cartridge's ROM board back into the cartridge itself. Repeated insertion and removal of cartridges caused the pins to wear out relatively quickly, and the ZIF design proved far more prone to interference by dirt and dust than an industry-standard card edge connector. Exacerbating the problem was Nintendo's choice of materials; the slot connector that the cartridge was actually inserted into was made of a cheap alloy that was highly prone to corrosion."

And this (which explains a lot about my problems before I got my NES fixed):

"The bending problem with the NES's design was also increased by the release of the popular Game Genie add-on; this add-on's purpose was to enable "cheat" or "patch" codes to various games. Attaching the Game Genie device to a NES cartridge meant that the front-loading mechanism would be bent while playing, and the Game Genie's retention mechanism (a triangular piece of plastic) made the device difficult to remove as well. Continual use of the Game Genie device could warp the loading mechanism's pins to such a degree that the NES would not function without a Game Genie present." (Both from here.)

Oh, and this is an incredible story from The Onion. As is this.

The Doctor is in the House

Incredible picture of Dr. Dre from his "World Class Wreckin' Cru" days. Don't worry Dre, we all know that you have come a long way since then.

Some advice for Alex and Ariel

Don't lend money to other poker players!

Oh, and Tim Berners-Lee is amazing. He invented the World Wide Web. Here is the first official web site. It's not quite Marquis, I know. He also has his own website and even his own blog. In these places you can learn more about how the World Wide Web actually works. Read up Mom!

We win!

Finally, a trivia victory for the Berger Brothers and friends. Our team name of course was "Senor Rapalo Legal Defense Fund" (hat tip to Nostradamus on that one). The prize was a $50 bar tab which we spent on Kamikaze shots and other drinks like Baileys on the rocks. And I was introduced to the owner of the bar as tonight's trivia champion.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A Constructive Way to Spend Retirement

Amazingly, Jeff Reardon walked away from an armed robbery with just $170 in cash. He was robbing the wrong place. He should try Al's apartment.

How did I not know about this?

This is some sick, dark stuff. Most interesting to me was this line: "Her mother, in an interview granted the day of the suicide, said Christine was very depressed and had few friends or romantic interests." Unlike the usual shocked neighbors, friends, and family, Christine's mother almost expected this. In fact, the whole final paragraph (of this Wikipedia entry) was fascinating in that this woman very openly did everything that one might expect from someone about to commit suicide, yet no one came close to stopping her. Absolutely bizarre and terrible, but I have to say, fascinating. Her death helped inspire the landmark 1976 film Network.

Whether you people deserve it or not...

...all the videos are now online in Quicktime Mpeg-4 format. That should work for almost everybody. The quality is a little worse than it should be, especially since some videos were compressed multiple times. There is even a new video for you all to watch: A contortionist climbs into a box.

Monday, December 26, 2005

The Myth of Aaron Small

I don't know how this was never discussed during last season's magical 10-0 run, but Aaron Small is a 34-year-old journeyman! I assumed that he was just like any other Yankees rookie, a young guy getting his shot to inject some life into an aging rotation. In reality, he had been a mediocre minor league pitcher for 15 years! Why was this never a big story? Yankees fans I have talked to assumed that Small would be a solid part of the rotation for years to come. I even thought he might be solid for a few years. Now that I know the truth, I can say confidently that I highly doubt that Small will last all of next season in the rotation. By looking at his long minor league history, and his penchant for not striking people out, it is pretty clear that he was very lucky last season.

Isn't that cute?

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all.

I would recommend that you all go shopping tomorrow. I hope you didn't buy your presents early like some sort of sap, and you can take advantage of all the great discounts (I may buy three Brooks Brothers shirts tomorrow for just $139!). Even if you've already bought presents for others, treat yourself.

Atlantic City shook my faith (or lack thereof) in humanity as usual. The people there are just absolutely disgusting almost without exception. Only one jean shorts sighting, but they were worn by an extremely fat man, so that was comforting at least. I debated with Dan: Are sweatpants the winter's version of jean shorts?

The best part of the weekend was the successful completion of the adorable Berger/Schneller room-sharing experiment. Two beds, two sets of brothers, two nights of comfort at the Borgata. The beds were so big that Dan and I didn't even accidentally roll into each other during either night's sleep. Yoni and Ariel could have pulled off the same feat, but they preferred spooning. Don't judge them if you don't know them.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

For all the Schiavo people out there

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Michael Schiavo Starts PAC

Michael Schiavo, husband of the late Terri Schiavo, is starting a political action committee that will challenge candidates based on where they stand on government's reach in private lives. What do you think?

Old Woman

Denise Benzler,
Gardener
"Nice to see that a Schiavo is being persistent about something other than their vegetative state."

Old Man

George Henry,
Optometrist
"Like we need another organization looking out for the little guy. Thanks, but no thanks."

Black Man

Andrew Lederer,
Sound Man
"It's going to be an uphill battle, but if there's anyone used to seeing little to no progress, it's Michael Schiavo."

Video Update

Some of the old videos have been updated now so they can be viewed in quicktime (anything with a link to vmix.com). I will try to figure out a way to do the same for every video...not that most of you really care. But all future videos will be more quicktime-y.

Friday, December 23, 2005

It's no Gesture Aficionado...

...but what is?

Also, my video problems may finally be solved. The pop-a-shot video has been re-posted (it will be approved soon I believe). If this works out I will then re-post all the videos. Again, I rely on my faithful readers to let me know this time if the video works!

Why didn't I think of this?

Stalin, you've done it again!

And for those who don't check the restaurant guide religiously...shame on you. But you have a chance to redeem yourself by looking at some new entries.

Now I am off to Atlantic City.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Glory of a Five-Day weekend

Scroll down for the better ones, but this cartoonist is pretty funny at times.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Fun at work?

I finally attended an office Christmas (excuse me, holiday) party today. It wasn't the real deal however, because the big one was cancelled thanks to the transit strike (those greedy workers screw me (well, mostly other people) again).

I had a few glasses of wine, a cookie, a brownie, and I saw the Commish and Art Shell, while also learning that Bono is actually about 5' 5" tall. Oh, and the Commish got a video iPod for his birthday, so Ariel isn't so special anymore.

Inflation

Luckily, the price of blogs has remained constant.

Look at this!

You see the picture of Phil Simms and Jim Nantz in Rich Eisen's column? Yeah, I found that.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A Full Slate

Seth Stevenson takes a look at the changes going on at The Gap. I for one used to shop there all the time (until some point in high school), then went years without buying anything there, and now would consider shopping there again (but haven't).

Also, Stephen Metcalf re-examines Lolita (one of the most well-written books of all-time) after 50 years of child pornography. Speaking of which, check out this New York Times article and the Slate reply.

Finally, if these reporters think they are underpaid, they should talk to us small-time bloggers.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Interesting Wikipedia Findings

There was once a great Jewish football player named Benny Friedman. I heard that they called him the "Gefilte Fish Kid," and being a Michigan boy, he used to go to temple with the Actual God's grandfather while he was in college.

In other news, ripped from the Yale Wikipedia entry:

Did you know?

"It is commonly called "Swing Space" by the students; its official name, "Boyd Hall" (a name allegedly created by Berkeley students as a contraction of "Boy, did we get f---d"), is unused."

Quick Rant

How are the Sklar Brothers successful comedians with their own show on ESPN? Gross. That should be the Berger Brothers.

New Video

I really hope that this works for people. Please let me know if it does. It is Quicktime.

Oh yeah, the video is of me playing Pop-a-Shot, my one specialty in life.

"Nero, you screwed everything up!"

This is what they said on The History Channel's Rome: Engineering an Empire. Imagine his mother Agrippina saying to him:

"Nero, you put the aqueduct in the Colosseum?"

And then Nero does the Rich face.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Something to chew on

Mulatto Jesus, you might want to check out your counterparts at Hollywood Jesus. I was especially interested in this article, but then again, I am a big dork. (Is this for real?)

For the record, I am posting this because I found it fascinating, not because I believe in any of it.

Blasts from the Past

In my younger and more vulnerable years, my friends and I made some proto-blog posts. This was a picture from one of them:


This, on the other hand, was a more fully developed web site.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

What it is like to wear a suit around the city Part 2: Electric Bugaloo

Now that I am a working man, I wear a suit every day, so I figured that I should revisit the idea of what it is like to walk around the city in a suit.

Wearing a suit because you have to is completely different from wearing a suit for a blog video. All the freedoms and laughter are gone. And I especially miss making THAT FACE. Luckily I can still sneak it in sometimes during lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I like going to lunch in a suit, especially when I go to the Yale Club with my father. I truly feel like a businessman, even if I am not. I felt even more like a businessman, a Tokyo businessman that is, when I went to Soba Nippon (see Restaurant Guide) and ate lunch by myself amid all the other suits.

The final thing that I want to mention about working in a suit is about what happens after work. If I don't go straight home, it means that I go to a variety of activities overdressed for the occasion. On the plus side everyone sees me as a real working adult member of society. For example, I went to the Rangers game the other night and someone said to me, "Go back to Wall Street, you suit!" (Little does he understand the irony that I, working for the NFL, wear a suit every day, but most people on Wall Street do not!) But at least at dinner with friends, all I got was, "You really have to wear a suit EVERY day? At least it looks good."

Can't we just go back to the good old days (like the 1920s and 1930s) when every person of every class wore a suit (and a hat) every day?

Friday, December 16, 2005

More about text messaging, etc...

Check out this method I read about in The Economist. And of course check out this one mentioned in comment as well.

A Brilliant Final in the Last 16

An incredible Champions League draw today.

Now we know for sure that these things are not fixed, because otherwise we would not being seeing what would have been an incredible final game here in just the round of 16. Chelsea (and Barcelona) must rue the fact that the Blues finished second to Liverpool in group play, as now one of these giants will not even reach the quarterfinals of the competition. In a rematch of last year's epic quarterfinal match-up won by Chelsea 5-4 on aggregate (the second leg of which I watched in a bar in Puerto Rico), I believe that Barcelona has a slight advantage, as Chelsea have been struggling to score goals of late and Ronaldinho and Eto'o have been in sensational form. But no matter what, these two games are sure to provide some of the best football in the world this year.

The other massive matches pit Arsenal against Real Madrid (with both sides struggling, this one is a toss up), and AC Milan against Bayern Munich (normally I would choose Milan in a heartbeat, but they have had a number of troubles recently, so Bayern might spring the upset here). Holders Liverpool (my boys), playing brilliantly, should stroll past Benfica. Juventus should also have no problem with Werder Bremen, an exciting, but overmatched squad.

In other matches the two Dutch clubs, PSV Eindhoven and Ajax, will have trouble advancing against Lyon and Inter Milan respectively. But you never know in the Champions League. Anything can happen over just two games. Finally, the real dud of the draw pits Rangers against Villareal. Villareal should advance, but this one is just ugly.

Things could change considerably with many of these teams in the two months before they play the games, but these are my early picks.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Good Life

"How many beignets you think I can fit in my mouth?"
"No more than 3, otherwise you'll choke on the powdered sugar."
"Fine, I guess I'll hold off, I don't want to fill myself up too much before lunch at Antoine's."

Ladies and gentlemen, your New Orleans levee district commissioners.

For those fatties out there

Check out the Hoodia products sold by my friend Jake and his company.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Larry Legend

In this article, Josh Levin looks at the interesting question of why people tend to call every good, tall, white basketball player the next Larry Bird. The next Bird in question this time is Adam Morrison, the Gonzaga forward who is a joy to watch any time he steps on the floor. This man is an offensive machine. Is he Larry Bird? No one is Bird, so it's a silly comparison, as Levin points out. In addition, he is still only a senior in college, so he's got a long way to go before any meaningful comparison could be made.

There is something I would like to quibble with Levin on, however. Levin mentions the fact that once players fail as the "next Bird," they are never fairly compared to other players. But he also talks about how when "next Jordan" players fail, there are many other players to compare them to. But this never happens either. When Harold Miner fell off the face of the Earth, no one called him the next Dominique Wilkins.

Too Bad

Colin Farrell in Treatment
Colin Farrell, the star of "Alexander" and "Phone Booth," is under treatment for exhaustion and dependency on prescription medication, The Associated Press reported. Danica Smith, a spokeswoman for the 29-year-old Irish actor, said in a written statement that the medication was prescribed after he suffered a back injury. She did not say where he was receiving treatment, but the statement said he had checked himself in.

Comic's Web Site Is Pulled
The British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and Kazakhstan are at it again. In their latest skirmish, Reuters reported, Kazakhstan has pulled the plug on the Web site of Borat Sagdiyev, the boorish, sexist, racist Kazakh television reporter who is Mr. Cohen's alter ego. Last month, the foreign ministry threatened "legal action" against Mr. Cohen, known for his portrayal of Borat on "Da Ali G. Show." Mr. Cohen, who is Jewish, used the Web site, www.borat.kz, to respond. Yesterday, the government-appointed organization that regulates Web sites ending in the .kz domain name for Kazakhstan confirmed that Mr. Cohen's site had been suspended. Nurlan Isin, president of the Association of Kazakh IT Companies, said: "We've done this so he can't badmouth Kazakhstan under the .kz domain name. He can go and do whatever he wants at other domains."

Face Transplant Follow-Up

Turns out that there may have been some foul play involved...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

And now for something completely different

Check out this article about the torture debate from The Wall Street Journal.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Separated at Birth

Nostradamus:


Liverpool footballer John Arne Riise:

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Friday, December 09, 2005

This guy is really tall

And he takes advantage of his size to be in movies and stuff.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Work

Today I used a half-windsor knot for my tie, instead of my customary four-in-hand. My biggest concern a week ago: shirt or no shirt?

More NFL Cafeteria Info

The cashiers in uniform also carry yellow penalty flags. Rumor has it that if you combine the wrong ingredients on a sandwich they throw the flag in your face.

I told you so!

USA Today has confirmed the story that I told you all about a month ago. That's right, kakuro puzzles are the next big thing!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Must-See TV

Howard Stern mano a mano with Bill O'Reilly.

Tonight was part one of the three part interview series. Stern made O'Reilly look silly tonight and I expect more of the same the next two nights. The banter between the two men was extremely funny and I hope it will only get better.

You can watch the first interview at 11 pm on Fox News. The second will be on at 8 pm and 11 pm tomorrow night. The third will be on at 8 pm and 11 pm on Friday night. Look for the interview to be somewhere around 45 minutes into the episode.

The NFL's Tasty Little Secret

I sold out.

I am now employed by the National Football League. But rather than getting into the boring details of the menial tasks that I do, I would prefer to discuss the NFL cafeteria.

The cafeteria is a very impressive place, located on the 12th floor of 280 Park Avenue (the NFL occupies parts of floors 12-17 in this building). A good variety of grilled food (chickens, hot dogs, hamburgers), a sandwich bar, a salad bar, and other prepared foods are all available. And best of all, the prices are absurdly low. My lunch today consisted of a grilled chicken sandwich, french fries, a black and white cookie, and a Snapple. I paid $7.50. Oh yeah, the cashiers are women wearing NFL referee uniforms.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Schiavo Lives

Or at least she should in t-shirt form. But what would be the right font? 15-year-coma? It's the only one she might understand.

If Bowl teams are this bad about academic standards

Just start a playoff system already. End the farce.

Also, in other sports news: The Evil Empire may be showing cracks. Although spending out of control hasn't been quite as helpful on the field as on paper.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Jeopardy! knows about the countdown

Yes, even the boys over in Hollywood are following the countdown of the best blog posts of the last year and in Nostradamus' honor, they dedicated a category to him on tonight's show. The category, of course, was called "The Prophecies of Nostradamus." No mention yet of the top five. But once those are revealed my assumption is that they will have a category in which each answer will be one of the top five posts.

More to Chew on

You heard it here first (I hope): The Blog is the new Away Message/AIM Profile.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The Berger Apartments

Located on a beautiful stretch of Derby Avenue in New Haven, with easy access to the Yale Bowl and a massive intersection just down the block, this might be the best low-income housing you can find. Here, look at this picture of the exterior:

Friday, December 02, 2005

The Dream Team

In a shocking turn of events, my old barber, Boris, may be coming back to work with my current barber, Emin.

Now that you have recovered from your initial surprise, let me explain this story to you. For many years, beginning in my early childhood, Boris cut my hair. He and Emin both worked at a larger shop called Delta Mens' Hairstylists that employed approximately twelve barbers. They were both Eastern European tough guys (Boris from Russia...I think, and Emin from Montenegro), but extremely friendly. Dan and I always showed up with our father and the three Berger men got their hair cut together. It was a fun family experience. We would usually wait for Boris to perform his service for all of us, but sometimes Emin would pinch-hit, so to speak.

Then, some time during middle school, Boris and Emin left Delta to start their own place, called East Side Barber Shop. In our minds Boris was the man in charge because he was the man who cut our hair. But Emin always answered the phone and controlled the chair closest to the window, meaning that our teenage minds may have been deceiving themselves. Nevertheless, our partnership with Boris continued to flourish through the awkward years, although the family element had been lost to an extent. The haircut became a more solitary experience, a bonding session between boy and barber, rather than father and son.

One day, however, I made the usual call and asked for Boris. To my amazement, Emin told me that Boris was gone. So I dutifully made the switch. Emin became my main man. We have now been mostly monogamous for around 5 or 6 years. It turns out that Boris moved out to Long Island to open a barber shop there. Since that time, Emin has opened yet another new place, Veki's Hairstyling.

As I walked into Veki's yesterday, Emin was on the phone speaking a Slavic tongue, which was nothing out of the ordinary. But when he said, "You know who just walked in? Mr. Berger, one of the twins," I knew something was up. Then, Boris and I exchanged pleasantries through Emin and the phone conversation was over. But it was then that Emin dropped the bombshell that Boris may be coming back and opened up a major can of worms for me. If Boris comes to Veki's, do I stay true to Emin or go back to my childhood ways? Would Boris even recognize my hair anymore? I think that I have to stay with Emin, but I know that my allegiances will be strongly tested the first time that I get a look at Boris holding those scissors.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'll hang him real professionally

Good to see that some people still take their jobs seriously. And some people are too touchy-feely.