Warming Up

The boys and I took in a taping of The Colbert Report this afternoon and we had a blast. Check out the outside of the studio:

Colbert was brilliant as usual, blah blah blah. He is simply a masterful comic performer of both scripted and improvised material. However, as fun as it was to finally see the show in person after so many episodes on TV, it was nothing quite like the warm-up act. If you've ever been to the taping of a television show, you know what these guys are like. If not, the guy's basic shtick (although apparently he was not the normal guy here) was to take the most obvious attribute of an audience member (e.g. being black) and use that to "comic" effect. Here's an actual example:

Warm-up Guy: Oh, look, I finally got the black girl to laugh. What's your name honey?
"Black Girl" (she was actually South Asian): I'm not a black girl!
Warm-up Guy: What is that, a rap name?

He later moved onto more "Jewy" targets...meaning us. It all started when Tom refused to clap for the umpteenth time when we were asked if we were "ready for more show."

Warm-up Guy (looking at Tom): Hey, you up there, Cory from Boy Meets World, what's the deal? Clap it up a bit.
(Tom feigns indifference)
Warm-up Guy: What's your name? What do you do for a living?
Tom (with no energy): Tom. I work in IT.
Warm-up Guy: Oooh, Information Technology, your parents must be very proud of you. Are you always so subdued? And what about your friends over there? Smiley (that was me) on your left can't seem to close his mouth for a second, and that kid in the glasses...stand up for a minute (Dan stands). Look everybody, we've got Jeff Goldblum here. What do you do?
Dan: I'm Dan and I'm a paralegal.
Warm-up Guy: Looks like we got a cripple over here, eh guys? (One or two laughs) Come on, that's a great joke! Paralegal sounds like paraplegic...

For the rest of the time until the show (at least 10 minutes), Warm-up Guy would reference Tom every third joke. "Hey Tom, is that good enough for you? You wanna crack a smile this time?" This culminated in him naming our row the "Bored Tom who doesn't laugh row," a quip that got a laugh out of Tom. I'm thinking of inviting the guy to the next Bloggers Party.

(As a side note, he also said something about everyone in our row being bald because one man actually was...BA, you are the expert, Dan, Tom, and I are ok, right??)