Stand-up Comedy Joke

Remember that store Nobody Beats the Wiz? The one that used to dominate New York electronics? Well guess what, they figured out what beats the Wiz...it's called better selection and lower prices!

Which month is warmer on average?

March or November? In New York, the answer is...November. March is secretly a really cold month. You think that Spring is just around the corner, but that's one long-ass corner.

And Poker is Illegal?!

It continues to boggle the mind that poker is illegal in most states and, more importantly, we can no longer play it on the internet. But at least we can buy $50 scratch-off tickets!

“Scratch-off tickets are to the lottery what crack is to cocaine,” said State Senator Eliot Shapleigh, a Democrat who represents El Paso.

Predictive Powers

Been spending the night watching Nostradamus: 500 Years Later (more info here) and a Decoding the Past episode mostly about Edgar Cayce. This stuff is genius. Best parts so far:

Nostradamus discusses an evil presence called Mabus. With a little manipulation, this easily becomes OSAmabusH, proving that Nostra predicted 9/11. BUT, not everyone believes in Nostra's quatrains. Some scientists are skeptical. Enter the publisher of Skeptic Magazine!!! No joke.

Then, in discussion of Edgar Cayce's brilliant powers of medical diagnosis, something he know absolutely nothing about, we see the New York Times headline: "Illiterate Man Becomes a Doctor When Hypnotized."

Watch the History Channel.

If you've ever been curious...

...about what life might be like if you were a smart professional basketball player, check out Paul Shirley's writings. He wrote for awhile, took some time off (partially to write his book) and has now been back in the game for a bit. I am happy to have re-discovered his writing and I particularly enjoyed this column. You can find all the other ones from that page.

Eat Richly: The Shop

That's right! Courtesy of the lovely Kelsey Atwood, Eat Richly now has a logo and merchandise. There are t-shirts, tote bags, mugs and more. Please visit the shop and support the site. However, there is currently no mark up on any of the items. So if you wanna support the site with cold hard cash by buying me lunch or dinner...do that instead. If not, I'd love the publicity and I think the merchandise looks great. Here's the logo:

Pretty Remarkable

Check out the front page of the Lewiston Tribune. Notice that guy in the flannel in two pictures...

Courtesy of VSL.

It's come to this

An eight-foot-tall pink slip for Isiah Thomas.

Thanks for the raise Spitz!

So, as many of you know, prices for multi-ride Metrocards are on the rise. But thanks to the generosity of my company, I get a monthly Metrocard as part of my compensation every month. Thus, instead of complaining about this $5 per month hike, I'm gonna be dancing in the streets to celebrate my $60-a-year raise!

As if Huckabee wasn't terrible enough...

He unleashes this gem.

Handwriting

Everyone knows that girls generally have neater handwriting than boys. However, what I wonder is why girls' letters are generally more curvy and bubble-like, as opposed to boys' letters, which are usually sharper and full of straight lines. Any ideas?

Quick Shout Out

For all you folks out there looking for a lunch-time sandwich, I really have to recommend Starwich. This place makes great sandwiches with high quality ingredients (so many aiolis!) and creative combinations. In particular, unlike at most delis, the bread is actually an asset here (the ciabatta is particularly good)! Look for daily specials or create your own. Recently I have greatly enjoyed a Skirt Steak sandwich and a Slab of Bacon sandwich.

Fun Little Map Game

See how well you know the world. The early levels are easy, but you gots to know your Africa and Asian islands to really succeed.

Typical Subway Reading

Trivia Night

This is something I meant to post over a year ago. Here are the notes:

drunk irish guy with bluetooth style headset...extremely raunchy, says this trivia night is all about love and sex

announces scores 3 times (every time every score is btw. 24 and 26, 44 and 46, 84 and 86...he made them up)

time for a break to "tally scores"...he goes for a few cigarettes

actual question: which primate has largest AND thickest penis? besides Bush, who is the biggest Dick in the country? what is your phone number (women and attractive men only)?

takes FOREVER between questions and rounds, seemingly random. making jokes all the time during his questions.

i ask waitress: "is he always like this?" "yes, unfortunately"

Red Mango is For Real

It FINALLY opened on Bleecker Street today and it is better than Pinkberry! Creamier (closer to gelato) and simply more delicious. It tastes less like yogurt, but still has some tang. Pinkberry is too icy these days. Red Mango also offers a legitimately small size, which is great for those of us like me who often just want to dabble in some yogurt, not be wedded to a monster cup of it.

How the Mighty Have Fallen

When I was in high school, Britney Spears was hot shit no doubt. The idea that anyone I knew would even have met her was a big deal. These days? She hooks up with random guys at gas stations. If a friend of mine hooked up with her, I'd sort of feel bad him....but also still think it was amazing.

Spin-off

I'm launching a new site called "GreetRichly.com" in which I teach people how to entertain relatives and friends who are in New York from out of town. I advise them on walking tours, restaurants to eat at (those with an Eat Richly seal of approval) and places to simply splay. Unlike Eat Richly, this is a pay service. A man's gotta eat (richly).

This started off as a joke and now seems like a halfway decent idea. Should I buy the domain name? Eric (I know that you are Anonymous!) and Nostra are my only commenters, so what do you think boys?

Wrong Answer

"What's kind of music do you like?"
"Everything except for country."

That is a terrible answer that is almost always untrue. Name some bands or a couple of specific genres. I used to hear this answer all the time Freshman Year and I always hated it. Just wanted to get that out there.