Tuesday, June 26, 2007

What they think of us in Brussels

If you look closely, you can see that someone wrote "isn't" in very tiny letters.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Cold as Ice

Inside Xtra Cold Amsterdam. Note the boy sulking on the right-hand side. He just broke the ice. Literally.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Going Dutch

In case you were not aware of it, the Dutch really are the most civilized people in the world. The case:

1. They finish compulsory education with good knowledge of four languages: Dutch, English, German, French.
2. They are the tallest people in the world.
3. They are very friendly.
4. They are completely accepting of soft drugs and run a highly regulated prostitution system. They give people what they want, but keep control of it.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Time Crunch

Put in 10 euro cents, came out with this.

End of the Splay

After a beautiful day in Amsterdam, the boys were almost home to their hotel when this happened:

Tall, drunken chach with a woman motions me to come over to talk to him.

TDC: You know what?
Me (nervously): Um...
TDC (pointing to the woman while both of them laugh): I AM GOING TO FUCK HER SO HARD TONIGHT!

Just what I needed at the end of the night.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

"Is he fat enough for you sir?"

While eating some foie gras yesterday, I thought about a great innovation that has to be on the verge of hitting the French restaurant circuit: Foie Gras made tableside! You just forcefeed the goose (or duck) directly in front of the customer. And for a better tasting result, you make sure that the goose is eating foie gras himself. Then, when the customer tells you that the liver looks just fat enough, it's time to pop that sucker like a pimple.

Monday, June 11, 2007


The plane from Miami to Newark:

Girl sits by the window, I sit in the middle, Tom on the aisle. I just want to read my book. Tom initiates conversation with the girl so we can splay some popcorn. She gushes about her trip to Bolivia and Peru to both of us, there's a lull, and Tom puts on his noise-cancelling earphones and leaves me to chat for about 30 minutes with her. Fast-forward to the end of the flight. She wants to make her 8 PM flight, but we just landed at 7:50 PM. There's no chance she'll make it, but she asks to get off the plane first. Tom reluctantly gets up to let her out, she says, "Have a great time in Paris guys!" Tom responds, "Yeah, whatever."

Newark Airport:

Tom and I are walking by an airport exchange place as a guy changes his money.

Tom (very loudly): 66 cents per Euro?! What kind of idiot would change money at this place? COME ON!

Bonjour from Paris

Internet is harder to find in Miami than it is in China. Sorry (to both of you) for the lack of updates. A couple quick hitters:

-There is a drink called a Miami Vice (strawberry daiquiri mixed with pina colada). Drop a shot of 151 on that shit and it's a Miami Express...because it gets you there faster.

-I highly recommend driving in Miami while listening to DJ Tiesto.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Theme Song

Six years ago, Dan and I went to Miami and we were obsessed with Will Smith's "Miami." The whole plane ride down we were singing "Welcome to Miami, Bienvenidos a Miami" and so on. It was super cool.

Now that we're going back this weekend, we've got a new theme song in mind, and we are gonna blast that shit from Tom's car. Every day we gonna be Hustlin'.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Congrats to Alex

A 3rd place finish in a WSOP event. Could have been more...but you can't win 'em all. The bust:

Alex Jacob Eliminated in 3rd Place ($282,367)

On the next hand O’Leary limped and Jacob checked his option. O’Leary checked in the dark and the flop was dealt A42. Jacob bet $150,000 and “Big C” raised to $600,000. The K was dealt on the turn and O’Leary went to his favorite move, the all-in push. Jacob went into the tank, while O’Leary once again paced the stage. This time he made ample use of every square inch available. He ended up over by the media table at one point. Jacob finally made the call and O’Leary flipped over pocket sevens. Jacob looked livid when he turned over 94. Jacob’s visual anger increased as the 6 was peeled off the deck on the river. O’Leary, who had gone into hiding during this process, appeared stage right. He walked over to congratulate Jacob on his third place finish. Jacob will take home $282,367 in prize money.

Nostra's Wet Dream

Beth Holloway Twitty and John Ramsey get together. The only thing missing is a Schiavo...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Save Until Manually Erased

It's the moment I've been waiting for: I finally have Man vs. Beast on my DVR. I found out about the Fox Reality Channel nearly a year ago, but I basically forgot about it until I was sitting at my computer and my wonderful brother called me from his bedroom this afternoon (don't worry, he's in my Fave 5). Man vs. Beast was just starting, and Man vs. Beast 2 would be on later this week. My prayers had been answered. If you're nice to me, perhaps you can come over and watch the episodes...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

A sight to be seen

This guy was watching TV out on 7th and A last night. Unfortunately he wasn't watching The Wire. We miss you out here Ariel.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fire Island is Expensive

Check out this sign from the general store:

If you've ever wondered...

...what happens when a truck that is 6 inches too tall enters a tunnel, wonder no more. Pretty weird that the driver didn't stop.

Courtesy of Gothamist.