Saturday, September 03, 2011

Sometimes it's better not to ask

The Scene: A small roadside cafe an hour outside of Reykjavik.

The Players: Two American tourists and a waitress.

Waitress: So, I have to ask, where are you guys from?
Me: New York City, you ever been?
Waitress: Of course, I'm actually from Seattle.
(She goes to get the check and the guys, surprised to find out she's American, consider whether or not to press the issue. She comes back.)
Me: Seattle, really? What brought you out to this neck of the woods? How long have you been here?
Waitress: Well, it's funny, I've actually been here for three years. My friend had a job for me and I came over. Three months turned into six, six into nine, and here I am today.
(She leaves.)
Me (to Todd): Well that cured lamb was pretty delicious...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Good Morning New York: A Story in Four Acts

Act 1:
[I step onto a crowded 6 train at Union Square and immediately notice a foul odor.]

Act 2:
[I look around and see polite people, including some cute French 20-something tourists, cover their noses in disgust.]

Act 3:
Only honest man left in America (yelling): "It smells like ass in here!"

Act 4:
[Everyone with a sense of smell silently switches cars at 23rd street, including my French tourist "friends".]