Friday, July 07, 2006


The scene: A post-lunch elevator ride

The players: Me, An Overweight Woman

The story: As the woman clutched a take out bag from McDonald's in one hand and a soda in the other, we both looked up to see what was on the Captivate Network (Editor's Note: For those who don't work in office buildings, the Captivate Network is simply a small TV screen in every elevator that gives workers updates on weather, news, sports, etc...and allows people to look at something besides each other during awkward silences. See more here.) As it turned out, the screen was showing a story called "Mowing for his health." It was about an overweight Minnesota man who had figured out that mowing the lawn was the best exercise that his fat ass could manage to drag itself outside to do. In fact, he loved it so much that he decided to offer his services to his neighbors for free, in an effort to lose weight and get healthier. God Bless America! When this woman got off the elevator, I truly wonder what was going through her head (probably something about her Big Mac). I know what was going through mine: "Hey lady, you better go home and start mowing some lawns! You might get famous. Although I don't think that you will get any skinnier."


  1. rich! that's so mean!

  2. i think this might be your greatest work.