Haikus

Actual God:

Sporadic bursts of
brilliance, what we wished for from
Schiavo's EKG.

Al:

Dead to us, dead as
can be. Fropoker dormant,
do you still smoke weed?

Beneficent Allah:

Cam'Ron couldn't touch
this Matt's patois. Parles bons mots?
He'll holla at toi.

Dan:

Thanks to Dan (and A-
Roid), Delino could become
a Hall of Famer.

Eric:

A chess babe chaser.
Anonymous flame hater.
Miami player.

Finnegan:

Gone to Oxford. Shares
on Reader. Longest notes ever.
Bring back the blog. Please.

FoxwoodsFiend:

I lost 50k
more than you make in a year.
Time for a brag post.

H.Bomb:

Self-proclaimed greatest,
no one can argue. Top class
hater; don't cross her.

Jesse:

No longer a King,
still wears the crown: most prolif-
ic blogger in town.

Katie:

I wish I knew what
the title of her blog meant.
Am I alone here?

Lester:

Took your game to
the pros, blogging for a real show.
We miss you lots though.

Mr. Wrongway:

Freestyle poet with
a lyrical quality.
Gifted, not crazy.

Mulatto Jesus:

Gone gay for the blog.
Good branding decision. Next
stop, Perez Hilton.

Nick Antosca:

Full-time hustler, part-
time writer. Kill a lobster?
Now he's a fighter.

Nostradamus:

For 2009,
HuffPo, NBA replace
Terri, Natalee.

Rich:

Two years later and
people still ask where to eat.
Better than nothing.

That Girl:

She's made liveblogging
an art form. When she posts her
rare gems, readers swarm.

The Actual Rod:

He is justice. We
are thirsty masses yearning
for his approval.

Tom:

Always correct and
always funny. Fuck the blog
let's pay him money.

Bonus Haikus:

Glenn Greenwald:

He lives in Brazil
half the year because of their
lax stridency laws.

IOZ:

Who is this office
functionary whose posts are
always share-worthy?