The more things change, the more they stay the same

When asked to describe a family in 2nd grade, I wrote: "A family is a big group of people who are all related. I love my family because they take me on vacation."

On Writing

Writing used to come so easy to me. To wit, check out this story from 2nd grade (one of a 3-part series on killers):

The Serial Killer

One day there was a person named Dan Luthor. He was walking down the street and suddenly out of nowhere someone killed him by shooting him. Then one day the same person killed the president and then the next day he killed the mayor. They had been after him for a year. He kept on killing more and more people. In the next 5 days he killed over 50 people. Then one day he shot 100 people. But then a very good police officer went over to his house and blew it up but he wasn't inside. Then the next day someone saw him unarmored and shot and killed him.

The Good Old Days (Part 3)

This is a poem I wrote in 10th grade. I guess I was destined to go to Yale. Also, maybe I should have submitted this to the Trumbull lit mag:

"Gridiron Soldiers"

It was a cold and breezy day,
a glorious autumn afternoon,
when the leaves had changed their shade.
Two teams set out to mark each other's ruin.

The Eli and the Crimson
had met like this before,
each game a major battle
in their never-ending war.

The coaches screamed like generals,
their troops obeyed strict orders.
The Harvard men struck first,
crossing over enemy borders.

The first half came to a close,
with Harvard ahead by nine.
But the warriors from Yale returned to battle,
with vengeance on their minds.

The Elis roared back,
with a fire deep inside.
Their defense roamed the field,
with a lion's ferocious pride.

It came down to one final play,
a life or death decision.
The quarterback threw a desperate pass,
it landed with precision.

The Yale faithful stormed the field,
behind the setting sun.
Yale had won the battle,
but the war was far from done.

The Good Old Days (Part 2)

My idea of a "Tall Tale" from November 8, 1993:

This is the story of how I became a multi-billionaire. It all happened one night in Las Vegas. My luck started with a nickel that I put in a slot machine. I won $1,000,000. Through the night, my luck continued, and I ended up with over $1,000,000,000 in winnings. My luckiest game was roulette where I won $400,000,000. I now own many major corporations. I also own the New York Giants and New York Knicks. I am also the richest person in the world. Before this I was just an average 10 year old boy.

The Good Old Days (Part 1)

From a writing assignment I did on September 17, 1993 (copied exactly as written):

One day a drug was discovered that would let you live for 300 years. The one catch was, if you took it you would become bald. I would take it and then use a hair replacement system. I think that the creators of the drug made a good discovery but they should make sure that not too many people take it.