Grand Strategy

After reading this comment from Glenn Greenwald, I am even more convinced of my theory now than I was a few weeks ago:

The Government begins with demands for absolute power so brazen and absurd that anything, by comparison, seems reasonable. Thus, the law that will be passed does improve on the original Paulson Plan in certain ways -- equity shares under some circumstances, some oversight provisions and mild home-owner protections -- and people thus end up grateful for what is, by any measure, an extreme outcome, all because it's not quite as extreme as what the Bush administration began by demanding.

My theory is about the Sarah Palin "Baby-gate" story and it goes as follows: As much as I want to believe the original meme that it was Bristol Palin, NOT Sarah Palin, who gave birth to Trig Palin, it's not true. In fact, that story was COMPLETELY made up by the Republican spin machine so that when the real story of Bristol Palin's pregnancy came out a couple of weeks later, it would seem much less shocking. Yet another diabolically brilliant move. Respek.

Eyeball to Eyeball

I just had my first chance at a Momofuku Ko reservation. I was in the system at exactly 10:00 AM and had a number of options open for next Sunday night. I blinked and they were gone.

(Full disclosure: I actually had to check my flight home on Sunday and it turns out that I couldn't have made it back in time to eat.)

BeRiched Update

Yes, I am still hard at work on this series. It's been tough trying to figure how to monetize all the YouTube views I'm getting, but that won't stop me from trying. Check out the latest footage from Steuben Day last week in Central Park:



Now, before you criticize this video for lacking any real content, let it be known that the key concept here was the idea of playing on the meme of people being surprised that what seems like a still photo is actually a video (see here and here).

Also, I looked back at BeRiched at the Great Wall today and saw an amazing comment written by someone who turns out to be a middle school student (at least according to his bio). They grow up so fast these days:

you suck and all your pussy whipped friends and you stole the shity (city badly said) off of south park u suck ass

I hope he has seen the Delino Intro Video too!

Facebook Cold Open

I know that Facebook has some super smart people working for them, but I wonder who thought up the list of things to use Facebook for that is supposed to entice potential new users:

Ok, the first one is perfect, the second one is great too, the third one is "What the fuck?" This is what you are selling to someone who has never used your service? The wording here is terrible. Maybe if it were just a features list that would be fine, but as currently set up, it is completely illogical. Finally, the fourth one should have been worked into the first one somehow because it is essentially a repeat of the same idea.

Oh, and they forgot the fifth one: Spend more time interacting with a person's profile than interacting with that person (better known as "stalking")

Better Days Already Haunt Me

While sitting in the Upper Deck at Shea Stadium tonight for what might be the last time, enduring yet another horrific Mets loss, one thought kept running through my head:

In a few years, when the robot overlords are killing off all humans, what will their last question for us be? I kept coming back to: "Why do humans enjoy doing 'The Wave' so much?"

The Office

Seeing as how stealing office supplies is basically a national pastime (that I know nothing about), I was wondering if offices purposely buy uncomfortable toilet paper so that no one will take it home? Or do they do it just to torment me (and because it's just that much cheaper)?

Where's the XOXO for the iPhone?

I'll tell you what folks, there is just one unrealistic thing on Gossip Girl: not a single student has an iPhone. This is simply preposterous. I've seen homeless people in New York with iPhones. There must be some crazy feud between Apple and the show's producers. There is some nice love for the Ariel/Liz phone though.

PS: The Dalton lacrosse team was not very good in my day...so that was funny.

Hop Obama

Last night, I tried this new beer that comes from a diverse background and gives great speeches.

Republican Review: This beer is a solid 5.2% NBV (nigger by volume) with some strong Muslim overtones. And I hear that it's gonna take all the rich people's money while letting Iran bomb Israel off the map. Pair it with Working Class Job Killer Ale from Delaware and you've got a 1-2 punch that will leave you drunk enough that you forget to vote.

My review: Tastes great, more filling. A little hoppy.

Sorry I've Been Away

I've been putting together a chest of drawers:

I feel like if you pay at least $500 for something, it should come pre-assembled.

"My only pleasure is the absence of pain"

That was my thought in the dentist's chair this morning. I would imagine that John McCain knows where I'm coming from.

Why didn't I think of this?

Or maybe I did...

Be careful what you ship to Great Britain

Prohibitions for Shipping to United Kingdom:

• Live bees
• Live queen bees must be accompanied by an import license issued by a UK Government Agricultural Department and a health certificate issued by the appropriate Government Department of the country of origin stating that the bees are free of disease.
  

Restrictions for Shipping to United Kingdom:

• Goods made in foreign prisons, except those imported for a non-commercial purpose or of a kind not manufactured in the UK
• Horror comics and matrices
• Perishable infectious biological substances
• Seal skins except those from an accepted source

Do not use the sink (or the toilet) anymore

There is a better alternative! Professionally bottled NYC tap water is finally available. This is what we have all been waiting for.

The Real Thug Life

More info here.

How big is Roger Federer's Garage?

Roger Federer just won the U.S. Open for the fifth straight year. This means that he also won a "free" Lexus (I would assume that this works in the same way as on game shows) for the fifth straight year. And he probably has won other cars at other tournaments and he probably already has an endorsement deal with a different car company, while definitely preferring to drive a DeLorean around Switzerland.

So my question is: What does Federer do with all those cars?

How can this be real?

That was my first thought when I heard John Rich's masterstroke, "Raisin' McCain" for the first time last night:



My second thought was, "I've seen this before...":



My third thought was, "After you see that brilliant segment, you are going to want to know more about makes C.S. Lewis, Jr. tick. Why he wants Europe to suck a dick, etc..." Enjoy!

Boring

Is it just me or was the font used in the recap of the last year on Gossip Girl a little dull?