The Constitution? Cluttered with Amendments...

Here is a legal document for the masses. When most of you think of J. Howard Marshall (better known as that old, lecherous pervert who married Anna Nicole Smith), you see him as sad, old, and pathetic. But if you read a little more about him, you realize that he was a ruthlessly successful Texas businessman who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted (including legal documents no longer than 1 or 2 pages). Which is how he ended up married to Vickie Lynn Marshall, better known as Anna Nicole Smith (amazingly he had a similar relationship with another stripper named "Lady" Diane Walker ten years earlier). Which is where this story gets even more interesting.

First of all, Vickie only had an eighth grade education. This was evident in her semi-illiteracy. She "has trouble with zeros" and until recently, wrote "25.00" to mean "$2,500." Furthermore, J. Howard later even called her "unteachable." So with a young son and few viable job options, she became a dancer at a strip club (a sad fate for a lot of poor, uneducated women, but they do make a surprisingly high amount of money). She was "lucky" enough, however, to be working the day shift when J. Howard rolled in. She danced for him, he tried to grab her breasts (this is in the document...imagine a sickly 86-year-old at a strip club feebly trying to grab a stripper's breasts...incredible stuff), and a courtship began. He lavished money and gifts on her and she was obviously happy to accept them. But it is fascinating to note that she refused his marriage proposals for three years before finally accepting! She wanted to have her own career first (meaning she wanted to pose in Playboy).

Later, when J. Howard was in the hospital, Vickie "climbed into his bed, exposed her breasts and asked [him], 'Do you miss your rosebuds?'" Six months later, he was dead. I'm not going to bore you with the rest of the money dispute details between Vickie and Pierce Marshall, but I will encourage you to read some of the document for your own amusement.