The Way Things Work

Remember that big book with all those cool drawings of the insides of cars and light bulbs? Throw it out. I am going to tell you right now the real way things work.

You: Rich, how does an elevator work?
Me: You step inside, hit a button, and it takes you to the floor you want to go to. Sometimes it stops at other floors along the way because other people hit buttons too.

You: Rich, how does an airplane work?
Me: You pay JetBlue $300, you go to JFK airport, and 6 hours later you are in Los Angeles.

You: Rich, how does buying toilet paper work?
Me: You run out of it, so you finish wiping with a tissue. Then you say, "Mom, we're out of toilet paper." Next time you go to the bathroom, there is a new roll on the rack.